Recently on a weekend, when I had pretty much naught to do, I stumbled across the movie “The Perks of Being a Wallflower“. If you haven’t watched the movie or read the book, I would really recommend you to do so. Most of the coming-of-age movies are clichéd and try too hard to fit in a plot. But this storyline chimes in with an unusually incisive, character-driven ramble through the inevitable awkwardness of teen life. The best part of the story for me was that it was timeless.
There were several moments when reading the book that the outside world ceased to invade my conscious thought and the epiphany that presented itself was so overwhelming that it struck a giant chord deep within me. Of all the lines, the ones that stuck with me is a piece of dialogue between the main character Charlie and Sam.
Sam: Why do I and everyone I love pick people who treat us like we’re nothing?
Charlie: We accept the love we think we deserve.
I think at times we settle for less than what we deserve because of the troublesome trait of undermining ourselves. We tend to undervalue our worth and hence try to make do with what we have. More often than not it is probably the fear of being alone that overpowers us to be in relationships we know well enough we don’t deserve .
On the other hand, I also feel it is only but natural to wait for something better and not have to settle for what’s convenient. The point is if you have high standards no one should criticize you for that, it shows that you are mature enough to value yourself to know what you want and that you respect yourself enough not to settle for anything less than that.
These two sides are constantly locked in a struggle. It often becomes very difficult to understand if we are expecting too much or if we indeed deserve more. This is when we need to put on our thinking caps. No one else, I mean no one else, will be able to help us with this. We need to clear our heads of any fairy tales/assumptions and think hard. What is it that I deserve? What is it that I want?
Confusing? Hell yeah. But it is never is easy is it? After all you do deserve a love that never ends. As do I 🙂